reaching out to other couples..

I received this letter this week, and thought I would use it immediately. It is very similar to many couples, as they take tentative slow, but safe steps, into meeting other couples who share a similar DWC lifestyle. I have added a comment into the letter in RED.
************* Norman Wrote:
This is my personal email address. Given the nature of our lifestyles and the caution I see advised to others on your blog, I feel I can trust you to use it with the needed discretion. " MIKE states emphatically":This is FOOLISH. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW your real name and email address. Please create another email address, and then send all email through it... for YOUR safety.

Norman continues:

We are both in our forties and have been married over 20 years. My wife is in a management position at a software company, and I am in the automotive industry. We are both reasonably fit with children still at home.

We have been experimenting with spanking for much of our married life, but only for the last 5 years or so been practicing a dwc lifestyle.

• Weekly maintenance sessions occur each weekend. These are usually fairly firm reminders of what is expected in our relationship and household.
• At least once a month disrespect, or accumulated negligence, turns one of these sessions into a harsher (and more memorable) disciplinary session.
• More extreme disrespect is dealt with the day it happens, most often with a cane.

We are an extremely happy couple, passionately in love and both feeling blessed to be with the other. Thanks to this aspect of our life, it is difficult to even remember the last time we had any kind of major fight. .Our relationship is based around acceptance and mutual respect.

Our yearning to connect with others stems from a recent trip to NYC where we worked up the courage to visit "Paddles". This was the first time (other than once renting a "bed and dungeon" for a night) that we took our relationship outside of our home. We both found the opportunity to be open and speak with others about our dwc relationship to be extremely liberating and rewarding.

Thus we would welcome a venue to meet with others in our area. And as I stated earlier, the only groups we have been able to get leads on in our region are more bdsm focused.
The group you mentioned privately would definitely be of interest to us....can you define a bit more of their activities or mission statement?

You are welcome to use our story on your blog, but I would ask to view what you are posting prior to you posting it please.

You can call us Norman and Beth.

*****************
Norman and Beth: I did not send back the information before publishing. That would be a large amount of extra work. What I have done is removed or altered any information that would identify you, as your jobs have suddenly changed. No need to ever say to anyone what fields you both work in, until you are talking privately.

One recommendation that I make to everyone, is to comment on the blog about what you read, and also about spankings that you have recently been given. This benefits the blog, because as more people add the same type of spanking activities, more and more people can become comfortable with spanking.

If you create a fictitious blogger account, then you can give a little more detail about yourselves, and a email address attached to the blogger account (it is necessary) would then allow others to reach out to you. BE CAREFUL! What someone states in emails, and what is reality in their life, can be totally different.

Our Experience: Before meeting James and Laurie, we communicated by email for quite some time, and joined a group they were in... Thus, we got to know a lot more about them, prior to ever deciding to meet.

Thus Beth and Norman: I will forward this to our friends, and as they see entries from you on the blog, they may contact you to join this small select group.
BUT, there are groups everywhere, and reaching out, is always good. Traveling allows for more anonymity, but with small children, that is very difficult. Good luck to you both. If other couples want to try writing to me, I can see what I can do to help, but I am not that 'with it' in terms of groups.

thanks for writing, and I hope I will have helped a little. I hope Beth knows about your writing, prior to your writing. If she didn't, then I hope she gives you the hottest bottom roasting in a long time for having exposed your real email to someone you know nothing about! [even if the end result is positive]

bottoms up
Mike

Time to experiment

I am certain many of you have visited many other blogs. Their format is a big improvement over previous years. (that is, the format of this blog).

If you look at My Dirty Little Secret you will see amazing things, besides interesting reading. Being able to add a play list of interesting music, and a photo shoot in effect of pictures of Bettie Page among other things makes it simply amazing.

Best I get off my duff, and start learning. Blogger promises that when you update to the new format, the old format will stil be retrievable, if necessary.

Thus, in the next while, I will try to devote time to changing the look of the blog... As I go along, feel free to add suggestions.

I hope I will not be spanking myself for attempting these changes.

The beautiful women are always more attractive to look at than males.

bottoms up
Mike

implements to purchase

I do not remember if I posted about this implement. It was brought to mind, when reading on a group I belong to 'women in charge'. I have changed the name of the group. slightly. One wife stated how she had used it on her husband.

I found it in one of the ticky tacky beach shops you may find at any beach resort in North America. It was something I saw when younger, and comes with many different phrases. Obviously, it has another for wife tamer, and another with the saying something like " the cute little deer with the bear behind"

The difficult (fun?) part of purchasing it was Lynn saying if you want to buy it, then you have to go back and purchase it yourself... I had tried to convince her to purchase it, but to no avail.

Thus, with two women working in the store, it required the foolish discussion of purchasing for a friend that was getting married. They didn't believe it for a second... Oh well!
These come many times with the name of the recreation area you are visiting, like La Jolla, so I have whited out the name.

The paddle is not very thick, but does pack quite a sting, and the arc needed for it to be flush on your bottom, means it is travelling very quickly at impact.

What fun implements have you found at beach resorts?
bottoms up
Mike

old postcards

I wish that I had purchased these type postcards when they were available, but they disappeared from stores many years ago... Somehow, a more progressive free love society, but hide away spanking...

The first one is really cute, and can tolerate a little discussion. Is spanking something that comes naturally for the spanker, or does the spanker learn better techniques and effectiveness over time?

To me, when I see a photo of a spanker holding the hairbrush high above their head about to deliver a spank, I feel the force of the spank about to come, and the power of the woman.

I believe that their are tricks to the trade, so to speak, and that a spanker can learn from others, much like any other facet in life.The idea of raising the hand above the shoulder, then thundering it down, has the concept of using your power, and speed increases strength when contact occurs. After seeing Laurie hand spank me a short amount, Lynn has definitely changed her hand spankings to be far more effective. Exactly how, I am uncertain, but I can attest to a stronger spanking whenever the hand is used, even if only to start.
The only negative is that the postcards always talked about bad boys, and I prefer all mention on this blog to be of men. However, this was always the terminology in the past, and mostly referred to men misbehaving like children.
Lynn has changed in that she abhorred that terminology when we first started marital spanking, but now occasionally uses it in a playful way at times.

Would you like to comment.
Can a spanker improve their effectiveness by reading spanking sites for ideas, watching spanking videos, and other places like watching another woman spank a man, or attending a spankfest like Shadowlane?

bottoms up
Mike

book of the day

I found this on another site, a while ago, and unfortunately forget from whence it came. Most of the entries were men or women spanking women. This one I thought you might enjoy.



bottoms up
Mike

picture perfect

Thought I would just post a few photos for today.I ENJOY PICTURES, WHERE women appear to be very happy with the task of spanking different men
It IS definitely excellent aerobic exercise for the women :-)They ARE happy, meticulous, and very thorough
  spankings  not over the knee.
bottoms up
RED

2 million hits and counting

This was a post from Apr 15, 2009

So many interested people, so long ago...
I somehow missed this little fact, as I have been very busy over the last while.

This blog, for better or worse, has had more than 2 million visits. (Somewhat more than that, because I did not start the counter for a month or two after starting the blog)

Many have come, looked for one second, and disappeared into the ether. .

Others have come, enjoyed what they read and seen, and become friends.

Your feedback, whether positive or negative, has helped keep me interested in creating this blog.

Your feedback about your lifestyle (everyone's is different) helps enhance and affirm a version of the lifestyle. I try to make this blog such that you can imagine yourself as either the spanker or the spankee, no matter what gender you are, and no matter what gender the other participant is. My typing is not great, and thus it takes time to compose each posting.

I am extremely happy that readers whose first language is not English, or who are not simply fluent and comfortable in writing in English, choose to share their experiences.

We are so fortunate to live in a society where we make the laws, not laws simply passed down from whatever God eons ago. Romans used to like to declare themselves gods, as did kings of many lands.

We are extremely lucky to have the INTERNET, such that we can reach out and find other people with similar ideas as ours, and thus affirm that we are not totally irrational. (well, maybe you are sane, but I am not so certain of myself some days :-)

I am extremely fortunate to have a spell checker, to correct my errors mostly caused by mistakes in typing.

May you frequent this blog whenever you like,

may you live long and prosper (Spock),

may you have a sense of humor to get through the day,

may good fortune come your way and stay with you forever...

bottoms up
red

Fuller Brush Company

Some original older cartoons sometimes used the travelling saleswoman, who would demonstrate how to use Acme brushes. This was, at least in my imagination, a take off from the Fuller Brush salesman. . Thus, I thought a walk down memory lane would take us today to the fuller brush company, and it's current products.Heritage Hair Care!
Only from Fuller Brush come heirloom-quality hairbrushes with natural beauty and superior performance delivered by these elegantly traditional styles. The Beechwood used in this hairbrush was selected for its beauty and durability. The natural boar bristles distribute your natural hair oils for an all-over silky luster.

If you want to look at the hair brushes, here is the link.

http://www.fuller.com/products_detail.asp?cat=1&subcat=8&id=149&pg=1

Any spanking with a hairbrush, by a determined woman, can be extremely effective. Lynn's use of our small hairbrush recently was very effective.

bottoms up
Mike

Not certain if I have posted this before, but it seems like fun for today. If I have posted it before, then maybe one of my researchers :-) will let me know when.
Age has it's own rewards, thus I get to enjoy this again.

Reasons Why OTK Spankings are Great

---

First, they are good for your health.
* The spanker gets a good workout chasing an errant partner, dragging them to the chair, holding then in place despite their struggles, and of course the effort of a truly good spanking.
* For the spankee, the effort of running, struggling, and of course all that kicking and waving arms around. Better than Aerobics!
* Spankees spend more time standing, even dancing frantically. Much healthier activity than sitting. Perhaps we can teach the spankaerobics in gyms? Worlds more fun than step, and way more action than yoga.
* Spanking is great for the circulation. First all the blood rushes to the head as the spankee is positioned over the knee. Then when the spanking begins the blood rushes to the bottom. Soon the face is red with crying and yelling, the heart rate jumps as arms and legs wave and kick. By the end the heart has had an excellent workout.Again, roll on spankaerobics. (And I intend to patent that. But you can all buy shares.)

* Asthmatics are often told to take up swimming to improve lung capacity. Think of the wonderful benefits of a spanking, plenty of exercise and a good workout for the lungs too, but without all the time spent getting to the pool, changing clothes, drying off, etc.
* Along the same lines, think of aspiring singers. Spankees often hit notes that Opera singers can only dream about. And sustain them for amazingly long periods. The opportunity is there for a truly effective training program. And there is that improvement in lung capacity again. All that yelling.....it has to pay off.

* Mental agility is improved too. Trying to think up excuses that will work to avoid a spanking, looking for hiding places for contraband, trying to find a loophole in the rules, all keep a spankee alert. And of course the spanker is playing the other side; watching, checking, continually on his toes. That sort of thinking keeps you young.
Secondly, they help you save money.
* Less wear and tear on the furniture. After all, the two of you use only one chair. And afterwards the spankee doesn't sit at all for a while.

* You can examine the carpet for marks and stains while you're down there. Might find a lost earring or a few coins too, if you check around.
* It's a cheap hobby. No equipment at all is required, just a place for the spanker to sit. If she decides to go beyond a hand spanking many appropriate implements are lying around the house, just begging to be used. Much cheaper than the expense of buying golf clubs, scuba gear or electric trains.
* Spankers often find that giving a spanking to that hot little red bottom, which is doing all that wriggling on his lap, has a somewhat arousing effect. Just a bit. Think of the savings on Viagra. Although, it may be interesting trying to fill the prescription.
Thirdly, they can add excitement to your life.
* Just imagine you are going to the most boring party on earth. As you arrive your partner whispers in your ear, "Behave yourself tonight or I'll be warming that naughty little bottom of yours when we get home."
Instantly your mind is alert. Just how far can you push? You know you're being watched all the time. You flirt, you tease, always keeping one eye open. And then it happens, the whisper, "Right Young Man, that's enough. You'll be in the corner as soon as we get home. I want to see that naughty bottom of yours on display. And then you're going over my knee and I'm spanking you until you are one sorry young man."
The rest of the party passes in a blur of thrills and chills, terrified anticipation and shivery excitement. Definitely not dull.
* A simple shopping trip becomes a roller coaster of thrills. Do I buy it? Can I afford it? Will she find out?
* As you walk around the house, just seeing a hairbrush lying on the dresser or a wooden spoon in a kitchen drawer can bring a little tingle in the tummy, or a bit lower down. Your own home is more exciting than an amusement park.
And the best of all:
* A good spanking often leads to an extended session of rumpy-pumpy. And if you need me to tell you why that's a good thing, you're doing it wrong!
So, ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.
bottoms up
RED

A present sent to Danielle and John

Friends are really important, even ones we have never met in person.

Without giving a lot of detail, this blog was helpful in connecting and encouraging Danielle to write me privately.

With emails, I was able to encourage her to begin the journey down the road of disciplining her husband for play and for real!

Danielle and John have both grown in the realm of marital discipline, and I believe it has helped both of them as much as marital discipline has helped us.

Danielle and Lynn have chatted privately, and both have helped and encouraged each other when needed.

A short while back, I sent Danielle and John a present of some appropriate tea towels and a bath brush.

Danielle's reply:

"When I came home this morning John told me that there was a package waiting to be opened. Always exciting... but we were thrilled when we opened your gift. What a wonderful bath brush that you sent us. We have been looking for one for years; only found a plastic one that got broken soon.

We send you a very big thank you, it is great! Of course I have tried it out immediately and I must tell you it made an impression."

Aside: I have yet to hear John's reaction to the present.

Enjoy life...

bottoms up
Mike

re-visiting Veralsi

This first cartoon I found to be wonderful.Humor is even better than spankings, but if you combine the two, it is truly a wonderful World.
I thought I would re-visit the outside of Veralsi's Spanking Showcase, and look at some of the public pictures.
Simply click on the link, and then click enter.
Notice that I always try to take you to the page that requires you to (possibly) read the age requirements, before getting to the site.
The site is predominantly women being spanked, but has a number of sections of women spanking men.
IF anyone has joined this site, please offer a small review for my readers.
I would love a free membership for a week, so that I could then explain more about the pictures, but I am content simply advertising the site by showing a few drawings from the public area.

bottoms up
Mike

humor

Photo opportunities do yield interesting results.

Leonardo drawing with caption...
It does come naturally. Every woman has something beautiful about her, if she makes the effort.

I imagine I will stop admiring and looking at women after they have closed the casket lid, but not before... Certainly beats looking at men for me, but whatever floats your boat is best...

enjoy Life, and being alive

RED

location

Thought I would do a small poll for today.The question is: Where in your house or apartment do you most frequently get spanked?

spanking location in your house

what room are you most frequently spanked in? our bedroom bathroom basement family (living) room kitchen a different room Current Results

PLEASE REALIZE SPANKLIT NO LONGER EXIST, BUT TYOU COULD WIRTE YOUR ANSWER WITH A COMMENT
My answer is the bedroom, but with the kitchen whenever on the spot occurs.

bottoms up
Mike

how did you approach your wife(partner) to spank you?

REDI occasionally get very personal letters like the following, and thought it was maybe time to share this topic with everyone again.
******************

Dear Mike,

I have frequented your website (and others like it) for some time now, and am working up the courage to talk to my own wife about a female led relationship. I was wondering how you spoke to your own wife when bringing up the subject for the first time.

Sincerely Yours

Joel (a name I have made up for this person)
******************
My Reply:
Hi Joel:

Please look backwards in my blog. More towards the beginning of the blog I have addressed somewhat this issue.. This way you will see our evolution...

Give me more info on your situation, PRIVATELY, before I would ever consider recommending, and if this is your regular email account, then please setup one solely for adult rated content regarding spanking. Hope to hear back from you soon.

Mike
****************
Time for our readers to help, so I am not overwhelmed! Also, maybe if both partners read this blog, I might request the extra encouragement that only a spanker can give to a spankee. Please promise your partner a spanking, but temper your mood on how fast a reply is sent to this blog, with a copy to yourself.

This knee is waiting for you to bend over. Depending on how you answer the request above, it may be a happy woman who is administering the spanking. I have learned that it is always better to have a happy woman administer the spanking.
If you have previously described how you approached your partner on the spanking issue, could you look back and see what date of the posting or the comment that explained how you were able to broach the topic, and eventually convince your partner of your need to be spanked, and the benefits that would be derived by both of you in your relationship.
By your remembering about when you discussed it on this blog, you should be able to find it easier than I can. I can then build a short posting of relevant dates for those who have previously posted. Thanks.the knee is still there, but the woman is looking a little more perturbed with your not fulfilling her request quickly.
THUS:
If you have as yet not explained how spanking began in your present relationship, maybe you might post a comment explaining as much detail as you are comfortable with, without anything that would lead to your identity. If this blog has helped in any way, this is how it could be most useful.

Remeber, I am commissioning the spanker to be certain to follow through if you do not post.
thanks to all who take the time to organize this for the greater community benefit.... May you be soundly spanked as your reward...
bottoms up
RED

The Perpetual Question

A reader wrote this to me privately recently:

Hi Mike: I'm a regular reader of your blog, but I haven't yet disclosed my level of interest to my wife. Thought about it for a long time, but still waiting for the right time. Nevertheless, I'm sure I'm one of many that consider you somewhat of a legend in the F/M spanking scene, and consequently, I want to ask you for your opinion. If you don't find time to respond, it is Ok because I'm sure you receive many similar questions. I'm on a conference call the other day, while working from home, and I hear a little "ahh" from the next room. I listened for a couple of seconds, and realized the vacuuming continued to happen, banging against the wall. So, I knew that whatever happened was not some injury requiring my attention. However, later my wife walked by asking if I heard her make a noise. When I answered yes, she became very angry with me because I did not come running. Two days have passed, and she is still mad at me. She is feeling unimportant and hurt because I did not come to her rescue to make sure she was OK. I'm annoyed at her, because this "needing to be rescued and coddled" has happened numerous times now. While I think it is silly and immature, I find my spanking side wondering if this is a chance to suggest that future situations where she feels I have let her down, be met with spankings. On one hand, I think the notion of always being the victim and making me out to be the bad guy that isn't there for her is ludicrous, but on the other hand, I wonder if I should just suck it up and try and make something positive out of it.

This is where I wonder if you have some advice. You use spankings to solve problems, but do you use them to solve problems of this sort where you might think that you are right and she is wrong? Its funny, but I feel that regardless of who is right and who is wrong, if a spanking is involved, maybe I won't care so much.

Anyway, great blog, and if you have any advice, it is much appreciated.

Thanks, MC.

**************

Well MC, maybe it is time to re-visit this topic, briefly.

I have no idea of how long you are married, how liberated or rigid your relationship is, and what other factors exist in your lives. All of these might change the answer.

Recommendation One: purchase the "Please spank me" booklet from the http://www.auntkaysdwc.com/   IT will give you a little more confidence, before discussing with your wife.

Recommendation Two: Make certain that there are no problems to speak about for a while, so that the harmonious nature of your marriage is in a good phase. Every relationship has ups and downs, so don't broach the topic when other difficulties are present. Be open and honest with your wife, and bring the elephant out of the closet, and talk about your desires. Go slowly, and give her lots of time to think about it.

Recommendation Three: If she does not categorically dismiss the idea as childish and totally crazy, ask if she wold like to look at the DWC website. Remember to keep stressing that you do NOT want to be treated as a child, that she is NOT replacing your mother, but simply your partner, who may use spankings to create a more harmonious situation whenever she feels it is necessary. It allows her to be in charge, and when upset, have a way to deal with your transgressions.

Recommendation Four: When reading the DWC website, state that much of what is written is excellent, whereas other parts are "too over the top". Give her the power to decide how she might like to start implementing spanking in your relationship. I would also STRONGLY recommend buying the lifestyle kit.

Almost Lastly: Whether you think it trivial or serious, if she thinks you should be spanked for something she thinks is important, you must give up the right to say no! But the lifestyle kit, gives a well thought out plan of how to initiate spakings in your relationship...

Lastly: please start at my blog at the beginning, and skim to find out how spanking has developed between Lynn and I.

DEFINITELY MY LAST THOUGHT FOR NOW!! Nothing you read on this blog, or the DWC website will fit your exact situation. Also, some of what you read may be too extreme, whereas some which you read may be too mild! I find some of the people that wrote in Real People, or who signed the guest book at the Dwc website to be too extreme for our view of DWC. We also do not agree with any drawing of blood. Your partner may not by nature wish to cause pain. The idea of a dwc relationship is something that grows over time, as the improvements in your living together in love blossoms even fuller with spankings.

good luck

bottoms up

RED