How spankings have improved our lives

Let me start by restating that I am a spanko, meaning that I find the idea of spanking to be very erotic. Reading about other real life situations have a very erotic effect on me.(I get a hard-on]) I believe it is similar for women who love spanking, in that it makes them moist, if not wet.

However, the actual time I am over my wife's knees [otk], and she is applying the hairbrush or bath brush, or using one of the other implements that I have shown, are not as enjoyable. Spankings hurt, they leave marks, but they are therapeutic. While being spanked, I have never stated please keep spanking, however, I have never had to plead to my wife to please stop. We did have a safe word, which means stop immediately if I state the word, but we have never used it. We no longer have a safe word, because if a reason exists for me to be spanked, then I should not be allowed to control how long I am spanked, it's intensity, or when it should stop. Those decisions are for my wife to make. [Also, my wife kept forgetting what the word was when we were talking about spankings]

My wife has always slowed her spankings somewhat when she has seen them being effective, with a desire of not hurting me. However, the nature of a spanking is to cause discomfort and pain. We, almost after every formal spanking, make love. If it is a on the spot swatting in the kitchen, then it is a minute problem solver and let's get back on with life. Thus, spanking and sex are intertwined in my mind, and fortunately, in my wife's mind.

My wife has never spanked me to tears, but that time will come I imagine in due course. If the situation merits it, and my wife makes that decision, then I readily accept my fate.

HOW HAVE SPANKINKS MADE OUR LIVES BETTER!!!!!

1. Lack of arguments.

We have not had an argument that has lasted more than five minutes in the last two years, and please realize that we both retired together two years ago, and thus are in a 24 / 7 living arrangement. [we do have some singular activities.] we travel together constantly also. Previous to spankings, we would have occasional arguments and not really talk or connect for a few days or more, as we nursed the grudge. Now the only nursing is me sitting gingerly in the evening. The last two arguments that I rememeber lasted less than five minutes, when my wife sized up the situation, and stated that we will solve this when we get home. I immediately knew from the tone that I would be spanked. I tried to back away from the argument, stating well maybe it is not such a big thing anyway, but she responded that I should have thought of that five minutes ago. One spanking was in the motel room when we got back to the motel.

2. Spankings solve my grouchiness:

Being not an absolutely perfect individual, I sometimes let the cares of the world get me down, and become grouchy. My wife has discovered that she can spank this away for me. While OTK, she reminds me of what a wonderful life we are having, how fortunate we are to have such great kids, also our great daughter-in-law, our health, and many other positive features. Note that each positive is connected to a number of spanks with the bathbrush. By the time the spanking is finished, I have regained my bright and positive mood that is normal, and I am so thankful for a wife who is so caring as to spank my blues away. I only wish I had told of my spanking desires twenty five years ago.

3.I have become a better listener, and thus a better social talker also.

This has taken a few spankings, before I saw the light, shall we say. It was well illuminated by my bright bottom. This evolved from being on the phone for 20 minutes, but not being able to give a summary of what the person had said. [oh, we talked about this and that]. Boorishly, I would tell other people about us, or more specifically me, but not really take an interest in asking questions about what they were interested in talking about.
I now listen, and greatly enjoy hearing what other people are doing or thinking. If I drink too much,[not drunk, not fall down], I talk incessantly. This has been changed for the better, both in terms of drinking and in terms of socializing.

4. I am extremely more considerate of my wife's desires, be they small or big, and thus our LOVE has grown more than I thought was possible.

She was originally totally against spanking. [aside: we have never once touched our children with even a playful spank.] My wife has been willing to spank me, to PLEASE ME. I, in turn, have tried to do the little things in life that relieve alot of frustration, things that show you are being considerate for each other.
[examples: regularly emptying the dishwasher, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, hanging up clothes instead of tossing them on the bed, or the railing in the hallway, putting the seat back down on the toilet after raising it, picking up the bathmat after a shower, and many other little things, that add up to one great big amount of caring, by showing that I am considering her feelings when I do things]

5. Being more social
I was often reluctant to get together with people I didn't know, but after a couple of spankings addressing this issue, I have found that meeting new people is more fun, and we are now entertaining beyond the regular small group of friends. We are both having a lot more fun, which improves the relationship.

6. On the spot wooden stirrer solves minor irritants
This solves problems immediately. If I am perceived as nagging, or just bitching about something, especially while my wife is making a meal in the kitchen, the stirrer is used on a bare bottom, until the problem disappears. My wife was annoyed by my behaviour, she has relieved this stress, and I have had it brought to my attention that this discussion or behaviour has just ended.
No hostility, a very simple solution.
Question: Had I been right or wrong?
bonnie's website stated it well: it's better to take an undeserved spanking than to miss a deserved one.
The disagreement was trivial, be spanked, and get over it. Far better than nurturing an argument.

7. We are both extremely happy, and I believe wholeheartedly, that spankings have helped us reach this level of happiness. My wife is not entirely certain, but does believe that spankings have helped the everyday happiness level.

We are now ready to advance the relationship with a spanking contract, which I will describe in a later post.

 

until then

bottoms up
Mike

The Disciplinary Wives Club method - our modified method

I have referred in previous posts to the Disciplinary wives club method of spanking as advocated by Aunt Kay at her website. I hope she will not mind my including some of her writings here, specifically so that I can let you know how my wife and I are progressing in this lifestyle.

I hope to be able to meet Aunt Kay in the next few years, and she may possibly spank me for posting this, but I truly believe she would be flattered by my including it in my blog, and interested in our progress. Aside: I would only permit Aunt Kay to spank me, with my wife's express permission.

For first time readers, please realize that I am the one who has initiated the concept of my being spanked by my wife, and I could easily prevent my wife from spanking me if I wanted.

In any situation, if one person states that the other person is about to be spanked for whatever reason or even no reason whatsoever, the spankee has to willing allow themself to be bent over the spankers knee, or bend over and lean on a table while having their bottom bared, or lowering their clothing themself first. If they do not willing acquiesce, no spanking would occur. If the spankee is physically attacked, and forced into a spanking, then that is abuse, and a situation for the police.

The METHOD: " quotations are used for words from the website"

Prelude A
"Once he is across your knee, give him a few moments to get used to the fact that he is about to be spanked. Begin by giving a couple of hard smacks, then stop."

My wife sometimes scolds for a short while before administering any spanks. The position I am in, being over her knee, with my bottom bared, focuses my attention on the points she wishes to make prior to being spanked. She begins with anywhere from two to five spanks. When she first used the infamous bathbrush, she was shocked by how quickly I reacted bouncing around on her knee. This was not a normal occurence by me,(I try to be stoic), but I was shocked how much it hurt immediately. Before that particular spanking was over, I was truly regretting both the reasons for the spanking, and my having bought the bathbrush for her.

"The initial sting will be quite a shock to his system. If you were to keep on, he would struggle so much out of reflex action it would be difficult, if not impossible, to hold him in place. This pause after the first few whacks will give him a chance to mentally gear himself for the ordeal to come."

I was definitely worried when those first five bathbrush spanks ended, and certainly, if she had done fifteen in a row, I would have been fighting to get off her lap. The pause and wait after five did allow me to regain some composure, and realize that the reason I was over her lap was to be spanked, and that a spanking's purpose was to be a very unpleasant event. [That is, hurt] Lastly, it was something I was just going to have to endure.

Prelude B
"Give him a few more hard smacks and pause again. He will have started to squirm, but the smacks will have been given before any serious movement takes place."

These spanks let you know that you are in for what might I call 'a proper spanking.' Your bottom is being warmed up. As much as I like the fantasy of spanking, at this point I am definitely not liking it. By the stopping, I know that none of these spanks currently being given actually count in the spanking I am about to receive. My wife usually adds a few words while spanking to once again focus my mind on the changes that this spanking is wanting to accomplish.

"His body will be very tense as he awaits the next round of spanks. Wait for him to relax, and tell him to do so. Then resume the spanking."

I know more spanks are coming, I just don't know when. I must admit that at times I am somewhat frozen, trying to actually shrink the target (my bottom}, by squeezing it tight. My wife sometimes just runs her hand over my bottom until I relax, before continuing the spanking.

Prelude C
"Lecture him quietly on why he is being spanked. Tell him if he weren't so bad and naughty you wouldn't have to spank his bottom so hard, that sort of talk. For the next series, give eight whacks."

We have not progressed to this stage as of yet. Almost always my spanking begin at this point, for an uncounted number of spanks.

the main event (actual spanking)
"Continue to spank in this manner until you think he can take the remainder of the spanking, which should be thirty to fifty spanks without stopping."

My spankings have increased in intensity over the last couple of months, and my wife is beginning to enjoy ending with a flourish. She pauses, states that their will be ten more spanks, and sometimes even states 'i want you to count them'. She then spanks with extra strength, and the last two or three are extremely forceful.

the desired results[part one]
"A spanking should be an event to remember. Don't worry about how red his bottom gets. The more color you put into it, the better you are doing."

All my spankings end with my bottom being extremely red. My wife has acclimitized herself to the idea that the redder the better, and that my bottom has recovered fine after a few minutes, or more recently, after an hour or two, and occasionally being still red the next day after simply sitting on a comfortable chair.

the desired results[part two]
"Don't pay any attention to his cries and pleas and promises. He will tell you anything to get you to stop."

We have progressed to my making sounds of pain, ouches, owwws and the likes. I have not yet pleaded with her to stop, but I readily agree to anything she states, and make promises that the behaviour will change appropriately.

To ensure the continuance of appeasing my spanking fetish, of improving our marriage and love for each other, and showing that I truly mean to improve, I really try to change the specific items that I am spanked for. I do admit that I am not perfect, and the occasional reminder spanking is needed for a specific item, but this is fortunately becomer infrequent.

the desired results[part three]
"Allow him to squirm within limits. If it gets out of hand, give him a smack or two on the back of his thighs."

My wife has progressed to spanks onthe back of the thighs, and although she does them lighter, they are very effective.

the desired results[part four]
"If you give a spanking the way it should be given, the results should still show a week later."

We have not progressed to this level, and personally I hope we never achieve this goal, but that will be for my wife to decide.

the desired results[part five]
"He should wince every time he tries to sit for days after."

A couple of spankings have still been felt for a couple of days, so we are progressing down this road.

the desired results[part six]
"When you are through spanking, or for that matter, giving any form of corporal punishment, be sure he thanks you for taking the trouble to correct him."

This is important. It shows my wife that I appreciate her monitoring our relationship, and taking proactive action to solve problems, or minor annoyances, before they grow into major fights.

the desired results[part seven]
"If you feel it is appropriate have him go to a corner for at least thirty minutes. If you wish, make him stand there with his bottom bared. Do not allow him to talk, move, or rub his buttocks while he is there.'

My corner time is before being spanked, and only once with a bare bottom to focus on what was about to occur. The last time was over twenty minutes, and I must admit that you have little to think about while standing in the corner, except the reasons you are there, the spanking that is about to occur, and how much you love your wife.

summary:
"Always remember the key traits of establishing a dominant disciplinary relationship. When handling discipline issues be firm but fair, strict, demanding, aloof and unyielding. Don't be afraid to degrade and humiliate, and above all, when that bare bottom is turned up side down across your knee waiting for the paddle or hairbrush, don't disappoint him. When you let him up, his eyes should be wet with tears, his knees should be quivering, and it should be obvious by looking at his bottom that he is displaying the marks left after a GOOD session."

My wife has never spanked me this hard. I do believe that we would benefit from this type of spanking. I have yet to be brought to tears, but I have the emotional bent to have tears in a very emotional scene of a movie, or if one of my children has been injured. One of the most recent spankings did have one tear in one eye, but I was embarrassed to say anything to my wife, and I do not think she saw it.
In the future, I do expect that this type of spanking may be given on occasions. My wife still does not want to hurt me too much while spanking me, but realizes the purpose of the spanking. She is adapting rather well (unfortunately) to a spanking having the result of my bottom being extremely red, my owwws and ouches being frequent throughout the spanking, and a rather thankful but contrite husband at the end of the spanking.

The spankings usually end with what could be described as great make-up sex, because all has been forgiven, and we are free to show our love for each other.

If you are in a spanking relationship, drop me a line and we might communicate some time.

until then

bottoms up
Mike