use of a safe word
I have joined the Ladies_Who_Enjoy_Spanking_Men@yahoogroups.com , am currently only reading posts, and one posting by Betty is worth repeating.
The posting:
"It has become something of a fad recently to not use safety words for
a variety of reasons, the bottom/sub doesn't want one, The Top/Domme
doesn't think they need one, or it is felt that they are not
appropriate in a disciplinary spanking.
No offense to anyone, but this is about the stupidest bleeding thing
I've ever heard. The reason for a safety word is just that, SAFETY.
No matter how good you are, or how long you've known your partner,
things can go wrong. Anything can happen from chest pains to a sudden
need to use the bathroom (I don't know what everyone else's tastes are
but I would rather stop the spanking than have a wet lap, thanks.)
Ladies, we spank our men because we LOVE them, and we should always
want them to be safe. Not using a safety word during play is the
equivalent of not using a car seat for your child. It is
unconscionable, and any Disciplinarian that does not insist on a
safety word does not deserve the wonderful gift of the trust placed in
her. "
A safety word means stop immediately. My wife and I have never needed to
use one. It appears that until this word is absolutely memorized, it should be repeated before each spanking, just for safety. The partner is in charge of the spanking, but the spanking is consenual, and there must be a way to have it stop if absolutely needed. The safe word allows the spankee to plead that the spanking be stopped, to promise the moon if the spanking will stop, to cry if needed (I have never been brought to tears except when young (age 7 to 12) but only the use of the safe word will stop the spanking before the spanker had wanted to stop. The safe word does not remove the concept that the spanker is monitoring the spankees condition, and ensuring that the spankee is safe. Their bottom may be on fire, but their physical health is fine, and their bottom will recover.
One other item worth considering is to never administer a disciplinary spanking while mad, angry, or upset at the person you are spanking. A more severe but carefully controlled punishment spanking should occur later when you are cool, calm, collected, and DETERMINED. Your partner will know that it is never a good sign when she says she needs some time to calm down before discussing and administering the punishment.
The poll no longer exists, but you might like to write your response.
3 comments:
Great blog Mike. I found you through Bonnie's wonderful blog.
You and I have a similar interest, although mine is yet unrealized with my wife. Maybe in time. Until then, it remains a nice fantasy.
Have a great day.
Hi shhhh:
If you have the same interest, i suggest you read the Disciplinarywivesclub website for ideas. Click on link to the right.
Purchase the Please Discipline Me
handbook, read it, and try to follow the advice that best suits you and your partner. Disciplinary Wife's Handbook and companion guide are also very useful. Introduce the topic to your wife, and talk about it openly. My wife is a willing spanker at times when she feels it is needed, but at other times her 'common sense' tries to tell her that spanking is not right to do. We are not at the stage of a dwc relationship, but I am working very hard at learning from every spanking I receive, trying not to commit the same fault again. My wife agres that we do not argue anymore, that our life is less stressful, and that we are more in love with each passing day, if that is possible. Have your wife write me if she would like to, or have her read some of the postings on this site to see that you are not alone in this spanking desire. Especially read some of the comments.
good luck and let me know how life progresses.
May you get the spanking you deserve. :>
Mike
Hi Janeen: less votes than on any other poll, but it is 50/50 with 18 votes. interesting. I am not talking about scene play, or bdsm, simply two partners where one is spanked.
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