Monday, July 24, 2017

How spankings have improved our lives

Let me start by restating that I am a spanko, meaning that I find the idea of spanking to be very erotic. Reading about other real life situations have a very erotic effect on me.(I get a hard-on]) I believe it is similar for women who love spanking, in that it makes them moist, if not wet.

However, the actual time I am over my wife's knees [otk], and she is applying the hairbrush or bath brush, or using one of the other implements that I have shown, are not as enjoyable. Spankings hurt, they leave marks, but they are therapeutic. While being spanked, I have never stated please keep spanking, however, I have never had to plead to my wife to please stop. We did have a safe word, which means stop immediately if I state the word, but we have never used it. We no longer have a safe word, because if a reason exists for me to be spanked, then I should not be allowed to control how long I am spanked, it's intensity, or when it should stop. Those decisions are for my wife to make. [Also, my wife kept forgetting what the word was when we were talking about spankings]

My wife has always slowed her spankings somewhat when she has seen them being effective, with a desire of not hurting me. However, the nature of a spanking is to cause discomfort and pain. We, almost after every formal spanking, make love. If it is a on the spot swatting in the kitchen, then it is a minute problem solver and let's get back on with life. Thus, spanking and sex are intertwined in my mind, and fortunately, in my wife's mind.

My wife has never spanked me to tears, but that time will come I imagine in due course. If the situation merits it, and my wife makes that decision, then I readily accept my fate.


1. Lack of arguments.

We have not had an argument that has lasted more than five minutes in the last two years, and please realize that we both retired together two years ago, and thus are in a 24 / 7 living arrangement. [we do have some singular activities.] we travel together constantly also. Previous to spankings, we would have occasional arguments and not really talk or connect for a few days or more, as we nursed the grudge. Now the only nursing is me sitting gingerly in the evening. The last two arguments that I rememeber lasted less than five minutes, when my wife sized up the situation, and stated that we will solve this when we get home. I immediately knew from the tone that I would be spanked. I tried to back away from the argument, stating well maybe it is not such a big thing anyway, but she responded that I should have thought of that five minutes ago. One spanking was in the motel room when we got back to the motel.

2. Spankings solve my grouchiness:

Being not an absolutely perfect individual, I sometimes let the cares of the world get me down, and become grouchy. My wife has discovered that she can spank this away for me. While OTK, she reminds me of what a wonderful life we are having, how fortunate we are to have such great kids, also our great daughter-in-law, our health, and many other positive features. Note that each positive is connected to a number of spanks with the bathbrush. By the time the spanking is finished, I have regained my bright and positive mood that is normal, and I am so thankful for a wife who is so caring as to spank my blues away. I only wish I had told of my spanking desires twenty five years ago.

3.I have become a better listener, and thus a better social talker also.

This has taken a few spankings, before I saw the light, shall we say. It was well illuminated by my bright bottom. This evolved from being on the phone for 20 minutes, but not being able to give a summary of what the person had said. [oh, we talked about this and that]. Boorishly, I would tell other people about us, or more specifically me, but not really take an interest in asking questions about what they were interested in talking about.
I now listen, and greatly enjoy hearing what other people are doing or thinking. If I drink too much,[not drunk, not fall down], I talk incessantly. This has been changed for the better, both in terms of drinking and in terms of socializing.

4. I am extremely more considerate of my wife's desires, be they small or big, and thus our LOVE has grown more than I thought was possible.

She was originally totally against spanking. [aside: we have never once touched our children with even a playful spank.] My wife has been willing to spank me, to PLEASE ME. I, in turn, have tried to do the little things in life that relieve alot of frustration, things that show you are being considerate for each other.
[examples: regularly emptying the dishwasher, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, hanging up clothes instead of tossing them on the bed, or the railing in the hallway, putting the seat back down on the toilet after raising it, picking up the bathmat after a shower, and many other little things, that add up to one great big amount of caring, by showing that I am considering her feelings when I do things]

5. Being more social
I was often reluctant to get together with people I didn't know, but after a couple of spankings addressing this issue, I have found that meeting new people is more fun, and we are now entertaining beyond the regular small group of friends. We are both having a lot more fun, which improves the relationship.

6. On the spot wooden stirrer solves minor irritants
This solves problems immediately. If I am perceived as nagging, or just bitching about something, especially while my wife is making a meal in the kitchen, the stirrer is used on a bare bottom, until the problem disappears. My wife was annoyed by my behaviour, she has relieved this stress, and I have had it brought to my attention that this discussion or behaviour has just ended.
No hostility, a very simple solution.
Question: Had I been right or wrong?
bonnie's website stated it well: it's better to take an undeserved spanking than to miss a deserved one.
The disagreement was trivial, be spanked, and get over it. Far better than nurturing an argument.

7. We are both extremely happy, and I believe wholeheartedly, that spankings have helped us reach this level of happiness. My wife is not entirely certain, but does believe that spankings have helped the everyday happiness level.

We are now ready to advance the relationship with a spanking contract, which I will describe in a later post.


until then
bottoms up


Janeen said...

Lovely Post dwcmike. Thanks for answering my question, hope I wasn't being too nosey.

Your thoughts are similar to mine on a lot of things. I too am a spanko, just the thought of being over Will's knee makes me aroused.

The spanking itself, if intended to be a correctional one however, is very painful. The effects of the spankings (even the ones I wasn't particularly in the mood for) have an amazing effect on my emotional well being though. I am always grateful afterwards that my husband was strong enough to ignore my pleas and continue.

Our relationship has also dramatically improved since we started domestic discipline. I admit I was very overbearing, and bitchy (for lack of a better word) when we first got married. To the point that it almost ruined our marriage. Being taken in hand helped me to see things from his perspective.

The severity of my spankings have gradually increased over the years, mostly due to the play spankings we've had. When engaging in an erotic spanking my pain threshold increases dramatically.

I'm glad I found your blog, I'm anxious to read and learn as your new lifestyle evolves.

dwcmike said...

thanks for writing. Your experiences, and how they help satisfy your emotional and spanking needs, are identical for anyone reading my blog, if they are the spankee. Relationships involving two people have one as the spanker, and one as the spankee. The sex of each is really not that important. When I am reading your blog, I become you in spirit (as the spankee), and my wife becomes your partner (as the spanker)
bottoms out

Phil said...

Having read your post I can truthfully say that our lifestyles have much in common. I guess my wife and I must both spanko's at heart... we have lived a Domme based Domestic Discipline Lifestyle for quiet a number of years and have substituted spanking for nagging/arguing. No regrets... well almost no regrets! Best wishes, Phil

dwcmike said...

I agree 100% that it is a lifestyle worth trying for every couple, but both have to have a desire to make it work.

Anonymous said...

Agree that both have to want to make it work... Spanking is a bitter sweet pill. A fun spanking is a glorious event, something to look forward to, disappointment when it ends. Punishment spanking (no matter how good humoured) remains something to avoid!

Anonymous said...

I agree with all said, it was my girlfriend, now my wife who initiated the spankings. She would state I need and finally with a smile I said go ahead, big mistake. She was not joking and to this day when told, I do not talk back, smile, just want it over. I learned after our marriage that her mother would at times spank her father. Also her mother told her spankings insure a long marriage and a proper husband. My spankings are mostly done in the bedroom, wall facing in the kitchen or front room, to insure I do not rub, sometimes naked, most times just pants and underpants around ankle. Trust me my wife knows how to get my attention and my manhood goes out the window once she starts and really out the window dancing around and rubbing afterwards. Jack

dwcmike said...

Phil: punishment spankings should be avoided whenever possible...
Jack: sounds like good advice to your wife from her mother.
bototms up